What is this urge to share that I can't make go away?

I've heard so much advice saying I shouldn't want to feel connected to others. I shouldn't want love. I shouldn't want or need comfort or support. I should be an army of one and never complain about the ache in my heart.

But I can't do it. Does it make me weak? I don't think I'm weak, and I definitely figured out how to be alone. I'm a high achiever at solitude and I'm basically okay...

But I can't make the longing to feel like I have a home go away. I'm tired of being told to be alone. I'm tired of feeling like I have to be alone. Why? Why do people get to experience love, family and friendship, but I'm not supposed to ever dream of being touched or feeling safe?

I can't turn off what's in my heart. But I know in order to exist, I have to turn everything off so I'm quiet and tolerable and nobody has to care about me...

I'm just not buying it anymore. I do need a lot of space. I'm introverted and happily do my own thing, but my heart aches to share. If I'm supposed to not have any wants or needs, why am I human? Why am I sweet and caring? Why do I have so much love to give?

I don't need to be told to love myself. I'm beyond those issues and well into my peace and contentment. And I don't want to be told to just be alone anymore. I want someone to say, I'll be your friend, you're worth it. Why can't I have that? Why do people think it's a pity party that I want human connection after I lost my family? 😂

Aether0Starflux · 22-25, C

I'm going through something similar. I long to feel welcomed, like I actually have a home somewhere. I'm an introvert too, and I like being alone, but if I'm being perfectly honest, I'm lonely. It feels like I'm drifting by myself in an endless void.

I have no idea who told you that you shouldn't be connected to others, but you absolutely should be. We humans, no matter how strong we are, cannot get through life alone. We all need a helping hand, someone who isn't afraid to pull you out of a roaring river when you fall.

And if you need a digital friend, I'm open :)
Sometimes I can't be online for long periods or time, and most days I have a limited amount of time that I can chat since I have real life going on, but I try my best to be online as much as I can.