Heartache cannot describe my pain

I met a girl online in 2016, we hit it off and became really good friends, we spent almost every single day of the past 8 years together, playing games, watching movies, chatting, opening up etc.. we were essentially inseparable. I've been there for her through everything. Her cancer, her unemployment, her homelessness. I assisted her with everything she ever needed and always put her ahead of me every single time. I genuinely loved her with all my heart and didn't ask for anything in return other than for her to love me back. And for a while she did.

Those past couple of weeks have been the absolute worst of my life. We recently joined a new game and met some new people, of them was a guy who lived somewhat close to her and he's been flirting with her, we had an argument about it and I escalated the situation and really got angry, and for the most part I'll admit that I made a mistake and went over the line by saying that I didn't like how close they were and I didn't want her to meet him. She didn't like that and felt as if I'm controlling her life and telling her what she can and cannot do. So we stopped talking for a few days and let things "cool down"

only to come back that during the time we were not talking her and him got even closer, and started playing other games together and even met IRL. And that freaked me out and made me even more angry. She didn't tell me, she didn't say anything she just decided to meet a guy we just met and give him the opportunity the I always asked for. (I've been asking to meet her for years but she always said she wasn't ready)

Now they are spending all their time together, calling, gaming a meeting irl. Basically doing everything that I have always wanted to do. I have been replaced.
And a few nights ago she tells me she now has feelings for this guy but she doesn't want to lose either of us.

How can someone who she just met replace me so quick.. after everything that I've done for her..

I can't sleep, I can't eat I can't think.. I've been completely destroyed and I don't know what to do.
I understand that it's her life and she can do whatever she pleases. But I've invested 8 years of my life into this relationship, I've invested thousands of dollars and endless sleepless nights.
My whole life revolved around this relationship and it succeeding. And now I feel so lost and heartbroken.

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SumTingWong · M

You had no relationship. You had an online LDR. If you loved her as you say...........why not do something about it ........like actually be with her? You cannot expect an internet game playing fantasy to last forever. This is the problem with your generation. Online is great....face to face and ACTUALLY conducting a relationship......not so much. You have to expect after 6 years of game playing...she is ready for more. If he lives closer and sees her..........what do you expect?.

HoeBag · 51-55, F

@SumTingWong he mentioned that he wanted to meet real life but she was never quite ready.

SumTingWong · M

@HoeBag Then like I said.............there was no relationship. It was all one-sided.

HoeBag · 51-55, F

@SumTingWong I think the biggest problem with on-line is that people show only what they want the other to see, and even then, we see only what we want to.

Not like real life where the person's faults are on full display.

Some people cannot differentiate between online fantasy and reality.

Myself, I had an online "Relationship" once, but we knew very well that in real life it would not have worked.

It is funny though, we think we are "friends" with people online but what if said friendship turned into a disaster real life? Or same with people we think we dislike?

I have several people on here I enjoy talking to that I would never want to meet real life.

SumTingWong · M

@HoeBag Most on here..........on social media in general......have psychological problems. Those are people who cannot hold a relationship together in person...or even make one. They come here because to them "reality.....in person" is impossible. They can talk to a screen on a phone but not handle the problems and stress that comes with talking to a person face to face. So this is their reality. The only reality they can function in. So they believe this IS a relationship.

HoeBag · 51-55, F

@SumTingWong

Most on here..........on social media in general......have psychological problems.

There are a lot of people though who are into social media.
Some say that social media is the cause of people's social ineptness in real life. Some say social media is the result of it.

I am no good with real-life relationships or even friendships but I can still differentiate.
Only in recent years have I shy'ed away from R/L interactions to this degree.

The problem with real life though - sometimes we might get personally involved with someone who could really screw up our lives. We do not know that until it is too late.

Behind a screen it is more difficult for someone to screw us over unless someone is handing over way too much personal info like financial matters.

SumTingWong · M

@HoeBag I under protection mechanisms................but often they end up being roadblocks. One hurt and the person recoils into themselves like they are the only one ever to be hurt ..so they will never allow that to happen again!!!!!!. But in doing so...............who loses? The worlds isn't locked away...........they are.....so it passes them by.