Heartache cannot describe my pain

I met a girl online in 2016, we hit it off and became really good friends, we spent almost every single day of the past 8 years together, playing games, watching movies, chatting, opening up etc.. we were essentially inseparable. I've been there for her through everything. Her cancer, her unemployment, her homelessness. I assisted her with everything she ever needed and always put her ahead of me every single time. I genuinely loved her with all my heart and didn't ask for anything in return other than for her to love me back. And for a while she did.

Those past couple of weeks have been the absolute worst of my life. We recently joined a new game and met some new people, of them was a guy who lived somewhat close to her and he's been flirting with her, we had an argument about it and I escalated the situation and really got angry, and for the most part I'll admit that I made a mistake and went over the line by saying that I didn't like how close they were and I didn't want her to meet him. She didn't like that and felt as if I'm controlling her life and telling her what she can and cannot do. So we stopped talking for a few days and let things "cool down"

only to come back that during the time we were not talking her and him got even closer, and started playing other games together and even met IRL. And that freaked me out and made me even more angry. She didn't tell me, she didn't say anything she just decided to meet a guy we just met and give him the opportunity the I always asked for. (I've been asking to meet her for years but she always said she wasn't ready)

Now they are spending all their time together, calling, gaming a meeting irl. Basically doing everything that I have always wanted to do. I have been replaced.
And a few nights ago she tells me she now has feelings for this guy but she doesn't want to lose either of us.

How can someone who she just met replace me so quick.. after everything that I've done for her..

I can't sleep, I can't eat I can't think.. I've been completely destroyed and I don't know what to do.
I understand that it's her life and she can do whatever she pleases. But I've invested 8 years of my life into this relationship, I've invested thousands of dollars and endless sleepless nights.
My whole life revolved around this relationship and it succeeding. And now I feel so lost and heartbroken.

Heartlander

Maybe, just maybe, from her standpoint, maybe too much of your life revolved around her and she felt suffocated by your need for her, and she wanted some breathing room, now and probably forever.

Take a step back and thank her for pulling away from you, so you can find someone that won't find your devotion overwhelming. You were there when she needed you, or needed someone. She apparently no longer feels like she needs you. Better you find this out now rather than later.

Rico96 · 26-30, M

@Heartlander I understand being suffocated and having someone cling to you being "too much" but it was never an issue before, we always had one another, always did everything together and she herself kept telling me to confine in her whenever I have something on my mind.

That has all changed in the span of 3 weeks, it's like she's a completely different person, doesn't respond to texts, barely communicates and not even doing the bare minimum to maintain a relationship. It's devastating.

Heartlander

@Rico96 Yes, all the above, until someone else appeared. Now that someone else will fill the shoes you once filled.

That someone else may himself be replaced in a few years. She's shopping and good shoppers have a way of making the salesmen think they are ready to buy.

I went through that with my college sweetheart. 50+ years later I want to write her a thank you letter :)