Need to Vent

I just got yelled at by my mom and I don't understand why. For some context Im the middle child and Im currently looking for a job because I didn't want to attend university like my older sister did. Im still living with my mother and siblings. So today I got a call from my step mother who I have a good relationship with and she asked to talk to me,I have no idea what she wants to talk about but I'll find out tomorrow I guess. I told my mom about this because we usually tell her where we're going and with who so she knows where we are. And when my mom came back from work she just exploded at me saying I don't appreciate her being my mother and that I love my step mom more than I love her,and she threatened me that if my step mother says anything my mom doesn't like I'll be forced to move out,so basically my mom will kick me out and disown me. I told her that I don't understand why she's angry and asked her to explain but she just repeated the same thing. This has been going on since my younger sibling was born. I don't have a problem with her I got used to being ignored and stuff but I still don't understand why Im getting blamed even if I didn't do anything. My last resort was to just not say anything because at that point I really didn't have anything to say and I was just questioning my entire existence since she told me she regretted having me. It hurts really bad,I don't usually cry but this has me crying non stop for about an hour now. My older sister isn't home so I don't know what to do or who to turn to. My father isn't even in the country since he's a truck driver and now Im just scared to say anything to anyone because it'll only cause more trouble for me. So after this long and most likely not even understandable speech I want to ask if anyone has been through the same,and if yes what did you do that helped you?

Penny · 46-50, F

well, obviously shes upset that you have plans or whatever with your stepmom. she probably takes this as a sign of disloyalty. Your mother is likely coming form a place of pain and i doubt she meant what she said. try to be understanding. she is her own person too. there is also the possibility of borderline personality disorder which can come out when a person is under stress. that sounds like something a person with BPD might say. it doesnt sound liek she said shed disown you. Just that she wanted you to move out. Which, for her sake and yours I would if you can. If you want to make amends with your mom Id stop being so friendly with your stepmother. I don tthink she can make it any clearer that shes pissed about it.

Viktoria · 18-21, F

@Penny Yeah I thought of that too but then again comes the question if lets say I have a boyfriend (which I don't) and he wants to spend more time with me,how do I know she doesn't say the same thing? I know its not the same but I don't at this point anything is different for her from this whole thing. And she had a good childhood,my grandparents never hurt her or her siblings so I really don't know.

Penny · 46-50, F

@Viktoria some moms do get like that over significant others. as far as yours goes i wouldnt say what you said earlier is any indication of that