I'm always anxious about my future

I really lack self confidence and i think that's just on of the reasons of my anxieties about everything. I'm in my first year college rn and my course is civil engineering. I'm not really good at math and i was overwhelmed by the fact that im the only person whose average in terms of intelligence. I actually don't know what i want in life or what i want to be in the future which kinda makes me feel depressed. The fact that I'm in a known private school that most people see as school for those who have privilege and my family's not even rich and the fact that i don't have scholarship really adds fuel to my anxiety. I cried for the past few days doing nothing.