Im so tired.

Living is a chore. I feel so numb. Like im struggling through life with that little bit of strength i have left. At the same time i feel like i dont deserve to feel this way. I dont go to sch anymore as a 15 year old and i dont do anything at home. Life is getting draining. Ive attempted, been stopped, thought about attempting again. But i cant stand the thought of my dad walking in on my lifeless body. Or my online friend whom i planned a future with knowing we’ll never meet each other. Shes stopped me from attempting once through her words. I love her so much platonically. But im struggling so hard to stay alive. I got back into self harm. Feels better than crying for hours in my room and talking to myself. I just really want to get this off my shoulders. I dont think i can stay alive much longer.