im so fucking lonely
im so fucking lonely its not even funny, i have basically no friends, no life, no motivation and absolutely not happy.
i hate my life and my so called "best friends" im not sure if i can even call them that, i recently just travelled to a different region (asia to na) and i wasnt allowed to tell my friends since we wanted to run away from someone and cant risk it anyway. i have been texting "hey guys i really need to call you guys to announce something," to announce it to everybody at once, but they basically left me on read, i texted the same thing 2 times and nothing (this was when they still had school and i was absent for 2 weeks, but it was the weekend and they're online everyday) and then 4 days later they finally respond, and then i told them i travelled and they didnt seem that sad, just shocked and to be honest seemed like they wanted to end the call fast, i was honestly disappointed since i stayed up late just so its morning time for their timezone, but i brushed it off and still contact them saying "we'll still talk, for sure?" and they agreed, not a single text back, i dont even know why i have a phone nobody even talks to me and nobody even checked up on me, saying you care about me and shit and not even my best friend of 12 years have texted me even once, but i dont mind since i know shes going with a hard time, she is the only one i could trust without her kinda judging me, but i havent talked to her in such a long time, i honestly think she was embarrassed of me when i hung out with her when we were younger, and i seriously want to contact her and possibly vent, but i dont want to be a burden only texting her to vent, i just need someone to talk to, and i also dont really wanna vent to her since she was problems off her own, i havent told anyone my feelings or emotions, i barely know how to process them, im constantly happy one day and the next day im so down as if my cat died, its as if 1 bad mood from someone makes me instantly depressive, i literally have 0 real friends and no one to talk to, not even my classmates reached out to me or anything, whats the point of my social media, gosh idk im just so fucking lonely
i hate my life and my so called "best friends" im not sure if i can even call them that, i recently just travelled to a different region (asia to na) and i wasnt allowed to tell my friends since we wanted to run away from someone and cant risk it anyway. i have been texting "hey guys i really need to call you guys to announce something," to announce it to everybody at once, but they basically left me on read, i texted the same thing 2 times and nothing (this was when they still had school and i was absent for 2 weeks, but it was the weekend and they're online everyday) and then 4 days later they finally respond, and then i told them i travelled and they didnt seem that sad, just shocked and to be honest seemed like they wanted to end the call fast, i was honestly disappointed since i stayed up late just so its morning time for their timezone, but i brushed it off and still contact them saying "we'll still talk, for sure?" and they agreed, not a single text back, i dont even know why i have a phone nobody even talks to me and nobody even checked up on me, saying you care about me and shit and not even my best friend of 12 years have texted me even once, but i dont mind since i know shes going with a hard time, she is the only one i could trust without her kinda judging me, but i havent talked to her in such a long time, i honestly think she was embarrassed of me when i hung out with her when we were younger, and i seriously want to contact her and possibly vent, but i dont want to be a burden only texting her to vent, i just need someone to talk to, and i also dont really wanna vent to her since she was problems off her own, i havent told anyone my feelings or emotions, i barely know how to process them, im constantly happy one day and the next day im so down as if my cat died, its as if 1 bad mood from someone makes me instantly depressive, i literally have 0 real friends and no one to talk to, not even my classmates reached out to me or anything, whats the point of my social media, gosh idk im just so fucking lonely
