srsly what is wrong with me

lately i haven't been feeling like myself, i feel so alone even tho i'm surrounded with people, i keep confusing reality with my daydreams. I really feel like i have gotten to used to imagining myself in a different world, different face, different friends, and a different family. I really don't know anymore, i have a good family, my face is okay i guess, but maybe it's the friends part. A certain friend of mine made me lose my trust in most of my friends because they said that they never liked me in the first place even tho i was always there for them when they needed me, and i never asked for anything in return. I can barely trust any of my friends now, it always feels like they're talking behind my back.

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riseofthemachine · 41-45, M

And if there talking about you behind your back , leave it so , there probably leaving someone else off .
Get strong my friend .
Pain will make you strong .
Go through the pain process of loneliness at the start ( all sorts of pain) and you'll never feel lonely again .
I know friends are a major aspects in people's lives ( but before this happened) . Did you really trust them .( That's the brain washing) when deep down we don't.
Your 1st realisation of this can be scary especially if you thought you trust people but going through the process as what I say ( pain , pain and more pain) you will blossom.
When you were relying on people for your happiness you will have your own roots of happiness.
That's goes very deep .
I'll tell you why .
After going through so much pain you'll get a better understanding and you'll have a deeper meaning in the soul what peace is even when your demented mentally .
I hope you get something from this my friend

NoahMuffian

@riseofthemachine I really wish it was that easy but they're all I have and I can't leave yet I can't wait until I'm 19...