I miss my S

I wish I could make him come back. I wish I could go back in time and be an even better girlfriend for him. We were an online dating couple, and we met each other in a game. Back when we were together, we talked to each other every day. We knew all our secrets, even the darkest ones. We both arent perfect, but we both saw each other as the best. We even planned our future together, but its all gone. We were a couple for almost a year, but around a month before our anniversary he just stopped replying to my messages. And when he did, they would always be short and "angry". I tried asking him whats wrong multiple times, but he just kept saying that he doesnt feel any emotion. I couldnt understand why he was feeling this way, but I really wanted to help him. I cared about him so much that I would die for him, and I still care this much. On the day of our breakup, I tried to save our relationship, I gave everything I could. But he said that he gave up on our love. I still tried to save it, but he got angry at me for texting him so much and told me to shut up. After he said that, I told him that I break up with him. I didnt really mean that, but I just felt so sad, angry and dissapointed. He didnt even reply to my message. I texted him later, apologizing and saying that I dont wanna leave him, but he said that its too late and he doesnt care anymore. I wish i could go back in time and stop these words. I really didnt want it this way.
This happened in October, 2 days before our anniversary. He wished me a happy new year on the New Year's Eve and from then we sometimes text each other. Its nothing much though, our conversation was him sending me one or two messages, and me texting him many messages about how much I miss him. He would reply a week later. He told me that he still cares about me and our breakup is not my fault. But why he wont start talking with me again? We never had any problems and we were truly happy with each other. In fact, he saved my life. If I never met him I would probably be dead right now. He made me heal and see the good things in life. Right now I feel like Im falling into this depressive state again.
Some time ago a boy confessed that he has a crush on me. I actually felt a feeling similiar to his, but thinking about loving someone other than my dear S makes me wanna throw up. I just cant move on. I think that I dont even want to move on. I just want him back.
Do you have any advice for me? Let me know.