Upset
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I’m honestly so tired and idk what to do

Sorry if this is a burden to anyone, if you don’t wanna hear someone complain please just skip.
I’m 19 and life just feels so scary yet set in stone at the same time.
I just recently signed off on my first job apprenticeship for the next 3 years because I genuinely don’t know what else to do, knowing that a dream job doesn’t exist for me because my dream job is any job that pays as much as possible with as little work as possible so I can enjoy my free time.
I’m at an art school (so to speak) currently and I dislike being there so much, I was always the odd one out but not finding comfort in an art school was just a little too much for me I guess, also I feel like it has sucked my desire to draw and express myself right out of me so I resorted to reading and writing. Anyway, I don’t have friends there other than the two people I sit next to who always make me feel like they’re tolerating and not appreciating my presence and I miss my bestie.
As if that wasn’t enough, I’m going through a friendship breakup and it just hurts.
Also seeing people romanticise being lonely when it truly gets to you at some point doesn’t help either, it hurts that they have a choice while you simply don’t.
Oh also I don’t wanna date men but still do but that’s a topic for another post lol
Idk why I’m rambling on about this, I guess things just get too much and I need to vent somewhere and this place seems rather quiet so thanks for reading.
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I’m still going through this and im 23. Working for the rest of my life until I turn 65 does not sound appealing to me at all. And I’m having a hard time getting all my homework assignments done in all of my classes because I have just mentally checked out at this point. this is not what I wanna do with my life but I’m only working towards a degree as a safety net put in place for the future. I fear that I’m gonna get this degree and end up being part of the middle class. And so all that bullsh!t I was put through in college went to nothing. And so I don’t like the idea of working for somebody else. That’s why I’m trying to start my own business but it’s hard
spencer6 · 18-21, F
@TurtleEclipseOfTheHeart yeah, I’ve mentally checked out too, it’s just not worth it tbh, most of the things you learn at school just aren’t useful later on which is quite sad if you think about it. And well I’m thinking about selling my art as a side hustle to see if it works at all but I like having a safe job with fixed hours so I don’t have to worry about it making any money, wishing you the best for setting up your business and finishing college, also ending up in middle class isn’t the worst if you budget correctly but I understand your worries