I can relate with your very much. Is there any way you can speak to another adult who you are comfortable talking with about your situation and how it’s effecting you in a negative way - someone who has an unbiased opinion of the subject and whom you feel you can trust? I.e a school counsellor maybe? Ask this trusted person if they are willing to mediate a conversation between you and Mom. If they happen to be a councillor they will know exactly how to handle any conflict or diffuse a heated discussion if need be at the right moment which is essentially a way of getting both sides to talk and feel they are equally heard by each other and then this person can advise or give advice and guidance on how to meet in the middle and find a solution that works for both parties and that you’re both okay with any kind of compromises that they may have to suggest - because, I don’t think that Mom is not going to be able to let you go balls to the walls after one mediated negotiation….but she might be willing to budge a little bit more and more and more over time though.
She’s obviously got your best interests at heart although I think she’s allowing her own past to overshadow your own potential and opportunity to live your life authentically as your own person.
Be gentle and approach her by saying that you are grateful for the fact that she is looking out for you. However, try not be too harsh when pointed out that actually she is denying you the very same right of passage that she had been and that in order to break generational trauma, you have to be able to live your life as your own person otherwise it wouldn’t be authentic.
She has obviously gone through her own hardships and I suggest that she maybe considers working through that with a professional if she is willing to.
At the end of the day…she loves you so much. And that’s something you will miss when she’s no longer around to make sure you stay well out of harms way. It’s annoying but trust me once it’s gone you will wish you never asked for more space in the first place.
X x x
