Why am i the odd one out

I dont know where to start, but. I feel left out often, and by often i mean all the time. I dont feel half-way "fitted in" society. I cant do anything others can, they think im lazy well in actuality i just have no will to do it let alone live. Its just a simple task but why cant i just do it? I'm afriad to talk or open my mind to someone directly so im stuck in this website. I cant cry or vent to anyone cause they all just leave me mid-talk, thats why i love my bathroom, it never leaves when i cry. They say I'm overreacting but im just 12 and i dont know anything about anything and my mind is ging into a million pieces and im slowly starting to consider if i should end my life or not. Yet im stupid too, i always need a hug but i never ask for one becuase asking for a hug is weird and awkward so I'm just stuck here hugging myself and cryibg myself to sleep. Its great to be that kind of person to drool on the pillow as you sleep because if i cry my moms just thinks its drool. I hope no one in my family notices this, i'm too stupid to actually ask for help

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Eternity · 26-30, M

You're really young, I know it is hard to take a step back from your situation and look at it from a different view, but try and understand that your entire existence right now is defined by flux and change.

You're growing, and it is a painful process. I remember feeling very similar to how you do at that age and venting on a site a lot like this one.

Nothing is permanent. I know that sounds cheesy but it is true.

Things that matter now, wont anymore in a few short years. So you might as well step out of your comfrot zone and ask for help and insert yourself into the dynamics that you want with the people around you.

Rejection is the worst thing that could happen, but guess what? That, too, wont matter anymore in a few short years.

Take a deep breath, exhale, and once you do you will feel stronger.

Right now are the training years, the practice years. The stakes are low, so you may as well throw yourself at anything you want to become good at and fail a thousand times, because failure is how we become successful; we learn a little from each one and the knowledge stacks until we know enough to win it all.

Pain is a deterrent for most. The fear of it alone will stop most from even trying.

If you can forge a working relationship with pain, and the pain inside you is very useful for creating such a bond, then you will be better equipped than the vast majority of people right off the bat.

You've got this. You can do this. You will be alright.

Dontwant2beknown · 13-15

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, it gets better I swear. Some of us get cursed with really bad anxiety as we’re growing up, and I don’t want to falsely diagnose your or anything but it sounds similar. Try to focus on the things you enjoy doing and the people you like being around, talk with someone you trust about this, especially if it gets worse. I wish you the best of luck and a big hug

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