I feel literally frustrated, Lonely, and just i dont know i just cant understand myself anymore i-i feel like i wanna die but i know its bad, i have no one to vent to and i just feel depressed
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That sensation is genuine. And it's like a quick sand. The harder you try, the deeper you sink. The mind feels trapped in a box. You must first remove it from the confine.
When was the last time you were joyful? What brought you joy? Start from there.