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Feeling left out...

Poll - Total Votes: 4
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For all these 18 years of my life i felt left out. I am a very family oriented person but due to many reasons i would say i have no family. All my cousins are in touch with each other except me. Not that i didnt try reach them out or asked several times to communicate what happened but they did what they wanted. The only few people i now can depend on is my brother mom and dad and few friends. But even with friends i do feel left out and i want validation every now and then. Recently what triggered me is that whom i call my best friends makes me feel very alone sometimes whenever i go out with them in a group especially. My best friend lets call her x. She is supposedly to get married and proposals are coming in. So there is this one guy who her family liked and she was telling me about him. She got no pictures of him and she didnt remember the name either. She told me not to tell this to anyone even our common bestie this other person lets name her y as she doesnt like the idea of marriage. That was all okay to me. Until few hours back. We have a common group chat there this y person sends in a photo of two guys with their parents. Upon seeing this, person x reacts and after i asked the context person x tells me this is the same guy she told me about and after hearing both of them person x and y making fun of the guy it was pretty obvious that they talked about him a lot. Person x told me that it was very hard for her to find the pictures and the time between when she told me and today is few weeks. Now it is not a problem that person x told person y but this makes me feel very left out especially because she told me not to tell her and then herself goes and tells her and chats about him and i know nothing. This has happened before. I normally prefer talking it out but i think ppl thinks its funny the way i approach. Most of the time they mock me. I know i am a little immature than them but for this i have been made fun of ever since. Its very common to hear i zone out every outing but dont they understand why Should i go and tell her that it bothers me because i dont also think that she does it on purpose.
reflectingmonkey · 51-55, M
i think you're seriously over-thinking this. she changed her mind and decided to talk about it to other friends, when she did the picture was probably easier to find or the friend insisted more than you. lower the expectations a bit, people will get annoyed if you have too much expectation. imagine, what are you going to say , " why didn't you show me the picture first, I thought I was your best friend and now I feel neglected" ? no, don't go there. let it go. you want to see people more, exchange more? be pro-active. make things happen. invite people, ask how they feel, take interest in their stuff, ask them about what's going on and follow up a few days later with follow-up questions, that sort of stuff , but be independant. independance radiates strenght.
Diedlongback · 16-17New
@reflectingmonkey thanks for the suggestion and yes obviously i am not going to say things like i thought i was your best friend etc. Yes i want validation but never really asked for it because i thought it was wrong. I am all good if she goes and tells other peeps but the only thing that bothers me is she acts like it will be a catastrophe if someone else gets to know....and i truly agree with what you said independance radiates strength and ill try to follow that
Jackaloftheazuresand · 26-30, M
is there anything at all that they may have only told you though?
Diedlongback · 16-17New

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