I just need help

My best advice would not be to ask on here. If you are still at school/college/ University there is often support available and failing that a number of charities that offer such support.

I don't know what this is for or about but most parents would want to know what is happening/ you are going through so they can support you even if it is beyond their means financially to fund counselling. We may not think it but often adults have been through similar things when they were young.

As someone who was and still kinda is in your exact situation, The best thing to do if your in school is to tell a school consoler or do research to find other support options. If all else fails, there should at least be a website or page you can go to whenever things get unbearable.

I know you probably heard this before, but the most important thing to do is stay strong and try to make yourself believe things would get better and etc. etc.

When I was in grad school, we posed this question to the students....the best answer was to get some of the most recommended self help books for your issues. As someone who wants to die, I might not be the best person to answer, but I do have a background in the area....