i dont wanna grow up

im so close to being an adult im scared. all my peers know what they wanna do in their life and im just sitting here crying about missing how it felt being a little kid and having fun. now i have so much to worry about. i used to be so smart but im failing now. im using these last young years just to sit here sad and i hate it. i just wanna be a kid again so i can be held by my parents and fall asleep in their arms