Am I being dramatic?
I am tired. Basic line. Everyone says it.
Being the oldest daughter, expecting to hear everyone, but also get ignored. I can't get angry with anyone, but everyone can get angry with me. I am not allowed to say "I am stressed" because it's nothing. "We have things to get stressed about. You are still young," says my parents EVERY TIME. Not allowed to cry in front of everyone, can't get angry, can't open up, otherwise, I am being a brat. Every time I am on my phone, scrolling through Instagram or Facebook to distract myself, "why are you always on your phone?" "Why aren't you studying? Your exams are here." YES BECAUSE I AM OBLIGED TO MAKE MYSELF THE PERFECT DAUGHTER YOU CAN PRESENT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, AND I CAN NOT. THE MORE I LOOK AT MY STUDIES, THE MORE I FORGET EVERYTHING, AND THE MORE I GET DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF. I AM TIRED. I am sorry to be a disappointment, but please can I not ask for a hug every time? I'm sorry you get disappointed in me. I wish to not be like this. I am sorry to annoy you, but I also need someone here for me. I am tired of crying myself to sleep and crying alone behind the walls. Health-wise, migraines 5 times a month is dangerous. I get them every day. My periods are delayed every month. I am obese. I cannot eat much without getting full and eating a little bit. While everyone else is enjoying their teen years, I am here, stuck with myself. I am not happy being out there, but I am also not happy being here.
Sounds like it's not a problem, does it? Am I being dramatic?
Being the oldest daughter, expecting to hear everyone, but also get ignored. I can't get angry with anyone, but everyone can get angry with me. I am not allowed to say "I am stressed" because it's nothing. "We have things to get stressed about. You are still young," says my parents EVERY TIME. Not allowed to cry in front of everyone, can't get angry, can't open up, otherwise, I am being a brat. Every time I am on my phone, scrolling through Instagram or Facebook to distract myself, "why are you always on your phone?" "Why aren't you studying? Your exams are here." YES BECAUSE I AM OBLIGED TO MAKE MYSELF THE PERFECT DAUGHTER YOU CAN PRESENT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, AND I CAN NOT. THE MORE I LOOK AT MY STUDIES, THE MORE I FORGET EVERYTHING, AND THE MORE I GET DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF. I AM TIRED. I am sorry to be a disappointment, but please can I not ask for a hug every time? I'm sorry you get disappointed in me. I wish to not be like this. I am sorry to annoy you, but I also need someone here for me. I am tired of crying myself to sleep and crying alone behind the walls. Health-wise, migraines 5 times a month is dangerous. I get them every day. My periods are delayed every month. I am obese. I cannot eat much without getting full and eating a little bit. While everyone else is enjoying their teen years, I am here, stuck with myself. I am not happy being out there, but I am also not happy being here.
Sounds like it's not a problem, does it? Am I being dramatic?