its totally fine to feel different sometimes. maybe your longing for something bc of a certain someone or something, or maybe its just bc your “bored” of being by yourself constantly. maybe your tired of “being ignored,” you wnat to be “noticed”. its totally fine to feel these certain ways out of no where. and based on your online situation, try and get into “the real world” and try talking to ppl more. you said you try but try even harder if its hard for you no rush <3. my advice is. probably not so great or something you didnt want or werent expecting but i hope it helped in a way ^^