I am entirely alone

I feel so pathetic. Ive been reduced to venting on a website to random strangers because i have no one to listen. Im not very liked at school, im a goth girl but peoples negative comments never got to me. Until this one cool girl showed up. I tried to be her friend but shs constantly avoids me to the point where she just looked at my message despite me confronting her about not responding. Another thing is my boyfriend. His parents are abusive so he ran away to my house and now his parents hate me and wont let us talk. They took everything. Im not even sure hes alive. Its been a few weeks since we talked and im starting to get anxious. I just feel alone. I have no one to talk to not even my own bf. My mental health has gotten so bad i relapsed. Im afraid to tell anyone. I feel like such a disappointment, i dont want my bf to be disappointed in me. I just dont know what to do. Ive even considered death multiple times in the past week. Im such a total loser. If you read this i feel bad for wasting your time.