First of all, you're not pathetic or a loser. Try to quit seeing what you think are the negatives in yourself and look more for the positives. You have them!.. I'm sure you have quite a few of those. It just may be hard to see and believe when you're already down and others aren't supportive and they're more negative.
So what if you like to look goth. When I was your age myself and other kids and young adults I knew were known as hippies and the establishment hated us and parents would say that we were no good and it just went on and on. You have to find something satisfying in yourself and hold on to that because people are cruel and they're going to judge you. Many want you to grow up and be more mature of an older person. It doesn't happen that way. What they say doesn't mean doodly squat if you know you're a good person. Everyone else is going to want you to conform to their idea of what you should be. It's more important to find your way through life being yourself. You're going to make mistakes but you'll learn from them. People that are judgmental, cast them off because they will never be your friends and you wouldn't want them to be. If you're worried about your boyfriend find a way to reach out and find out if he's okay either secretively or any other way you can. That's a good part of you! You care about someone, right there is a good quality! In your age range that's posted, you're basically an adult and your boyfriend probably is similar in age.
Don't let everybody else make you feel like a disappointment if that's what's happening. Every young adult goes through phases in life discovering who they are what they like and what they don't like. That's your right to do that as a human being as long as you don't hurt others... but somebody laying a guilt trip on you is not a justifiable hurt to someone. It's who you are inside that counts more than what you look like outside.
You haven't wasted my time or anyone else's at all. If anything positive of what others or I have said here helps, use it and grow stronger. Don't let others bring you down. You can rise above. 😊👍🏻🌻