Vent or smth

I hate myself so much. I'm so pathetic. Everyday I cry and cry when I get home I have no use. I don't even have friends anymore. I'm no doubt the problem. I got kicked out of 2 friend groups in less than a year. I'm not trying to be toxic. If I could change I would. I hate this life and place. I tried to kill myself so many times even my family think I'm annoying. I'm so useless and pointless. No one cares about me whether I die or not. But for some reason I don't have the guts to kill myself I get bullied and I act like everything is fine. I hate this. I ran out of friends and I'm all alone. I wish I could go back in time. These people spread rumours. I care about what other people think and my reputation. I'm scared I can't tell anyone. I'm so tired.

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assemblingaknob · 26-30, F

when i was your age (just a few years ago) i had the worst reputation. I was bullied throughout uni, by people both my classmates, and those senior to me. Somehow i was the talk of town. mainly due to rumors spread by my "friend group". Those girls were toxic af. they made me suicidal. a lot of my borderline traits manifested during my uni era. and it was very hard to even think of being alive to see the next morning. i hated life so much.
i just cut all contact with them when uni ended, including deleting all my socials, and my life has been better since. i took small steps towards securing my future. i'm still taking small steps towards healing. i have a job now, which doesn't pay a lot but at least it means i'm on to somewhere. life is a journey. the only point of life is to not be static and to keep going somewhere.

Spnk8 · 36-40, M

@assemblingaknob exactly!! Sorry you went through that people can suck sometimes. But im glad things are better for you now! :)

RandomPerson514 · 22-25, F

@assemblingaknob that sounds rough. I'm happy you have a good life now, that gave me alot of motivation for a better future