Proper tears (Triggers : SelfHarm, Suicide, Emetophobia)

I relapsed once more, I couldn't mask any time more I had to cry, so here I am crying like a baby, I hate when my mother neglects how I feel and just says "I had worse", then wonders why I never talk to her, and I'm suffering both puberty and the anxiety disorder that has been diagnosed to me despite my mom ignoring every need I infact need to have to pass the day, sometimes she even says it'd be better if I just killed my self, but who am I to talk I guess, people had it worse, but I just can't take the stress, I almost vomited at school because of an anxiety attack I can't stay there properly without shedding tears, this is the only place where I can vent and feel actually loved, because nobody can think I'm weird or that my problems don't matter