I can't do this anymore.

I wake up wishing I could feel better but I never do, each day is always the same, I don't like when routines are interrupted but I hate when they're identical. I cannot take the stress any longer, it has me on choke hold, I wish I didn't suffer from this stupid anxiety disorder because my mother couldn't love me enough to make me grow properly, I wish I could be loved and happy with myself but I just can't, I can't keep crying every night wishing my family could be proud of me, I hate being made fun of because I don't brush my teeth often or because of my scars from self Harm or my showering schedule, I just want to be normal and loved, I hate this.