Upset
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How am I supposed to deal with emotional neglectful parents????

They don't know what emotions are. They are so f*cking weird in a bad way.
First of all they don't even like talking to me, I see their faces when we are having a conversation and it looks like they hate me. They always give low effort responses, ALWAYS.
Whenever I try to talk about my mental health they just ignore me. They don't care if I'm sad, angry, anxious or crying on the floor. They never say ANYTHING to comfort me.
I am not diagnosed with anything (I never had access to mental health support), but I guess I have something like depression and anxiety. I literally want to kill myself, it's not just suicidal ideation, I have spent months researching about suicide methods and now I feel like I could graduate from med school ๐Ÿฅฐ. I have a plan, I just need time alone to do it. I have also practiced self harm as a way to comfort myself but I don't want people to notice those obvious scars.
They say I'm overdramatic, they say I don't have anything to complain about, but god I do have a f*cking lot of things. I just want someone that understands me, someone to replace that mother and father figure that I never had. I try to talk and empathize with them but I just can't. It's too much effort. They just want me to be like my older sister, a f*cking 19 y/o who acts like a kid and does everything her parents say. They want me to join their stupid fantasy world where everything they say is right. They all act like kids and I can't keep going like this. I just want to kill myself and I'm f*cking going to ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ
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LucyFuhr ยท 56-60, F
For the record, I just had one of the worst xmas holidays I can remember and it was mostly 'cause of my mother...

Unless you want to still be dealing with this ๐Ÿ’ฉ when you're 55 (guess who I'm talking about ๐Ÿ˜…) try to get some "emotional" distance from them and their ways (I know it's easier said than done) and maybe see a therapist.
Depending on where you are, there could be government provided (free) services that can help.

Parents don't always know what they're doing and some of them don't care to figure it out; they cause damage without ever realizing it and those scars can run deep.
Life is a beautiful thing though... and you deserve to live it with a smile on your face.

I wish you well ๐Ÿค—