Just venting
My mental health is in such a wacky spot right now. Like I am not doing good, but I'm also fine. I've never been in a space like this and it's not fun. I'm fighting back a lot of suicidal and mean thoughts right now, and I really want to post like I used to post on my vent tumblr in 2012 you know, just incoherent depressed bs to get my feelings out.
I cant wait for my life to change. I only have one month left, and it's the month that includes Christmas so there will be lots of happy spirits, but also money stress. I have burnt through so much of my savings since I was let go in July, even tho I have a job and I feel like I work forever my paychecks have been so baby it's barely enough to keep me floating, I'm glad I had a high paying full time job for over a year with barely any bills that gave me the opportunity to save as much as I had, but I've spent over half of it. On what ? I don't even know. Concert tickets and food. I wish I had better impulse control, I've been better recently but it was a struggle for awhile.
I cant wait for my life to change. I only have one month left, and it's the month that includes Christmas so there will be lots of happy spirits, but also money stress. I have burnt through so much of my savings since I was let go in July, even tho I have a job and I feel like I work forever my paychecks have been so baby it's barely enough to keep me floating, I'm glad I had a high paying full time job for over a year with barely any bills that gave me the opportunity to save as much as I had, but I've spent over half of it. On what ? I don't even know. Concert tickets and food. I wish I had better impulse control, I've been better recently but it was a struggle for awhile.
