someone willing to listen..?

i dont really have anyone to vent to, i have a therapist but i dont feel that safe around her, and it really all just built up in me and i cant keep it in anymore??? i feel so drained and its got to a point where i cant even complete a simple task and i keep procrastinating and questioning myself if its rlly worth it?? worth continuing? i have "friends" but they only seem to be around when they can vent to me and complain to me but when it comes to me, all i get is a 'ok' or 'well i dont know what to do with you then' whenever they leave me on read, treat me like shit, im supposed to let it slide, but when i do it suddenly they blame me? and i cant even do anything about it, i cant stop pleasing people because quite literally im scared of being abandoned, and this is the only way i can get love?? and i do genuinely love them i would just love it if the feeling was reciprocated for at least once ://