i feel mentally drained.

hi! it's not usual for me to do stuff like this but i'm genuinelly tired of not having someone to talk to. i want to let my emotions out somewhere so you're welcomed to read this rant if you feel like it. :) i'm a 14 year old girl, that's currently struggling with mental health problems, family problems and friend problems. by mental health i mean, i feel socially, physically and mentally drained, i don't have energy to do anything anymore and i feel worthless. my friends are starting to exclude me from stuff, and are starting to distance themselves from me. i feel jealous that my best friend is having more fun with others than her own best friend but i can't keep her away from other friends because that would make me a bad friend and i'm trying my best to be a good person and a better friend for her but i just can't help to notice how she's always judging me for the things i say, do or show her for an example i want to buy multiple crop tops and she judges me and says "what if they don't look good, wouldn't you regret it?" and i answered "no, because then i'd give them to you" but she just looked at me with this dirty look and i felt helpless at that moment because i feel like she's tired of me. but i can't lose her you know? it would be the second friendship that would be blown off because of how bad of a friend i am, i try to admit my mistakes to her and try to be the best version of myself for her but it doesn't seem to work and nothing's changinf between us. whenever we fight, we end up making up in the end and then we're nice to each other for a few days and the cycle starts again. idk what to do. for the family problems, i'm struggling with musical school which my parents make me go to, but the only thing making me happy there is singing. i absoloutely hate every other subject there, but whenever i tell my parents how i feel, they tell me i'm lazy and just want to sit home and play video games instead of doing somethinf with my life. the truth is i'm mentally drained from musical school, the teachers yell at me for not doing my homework but i'm just too tired to do anything. TW: mentions of su!c!de, i've told my mother i'm suicidal and that whenever i walk into musical school i want to unalive myself but she said that every teenager thinks like that and it's just a phase. i feel helpless, and my siblings don't side with me either. thank you for listening to my rant :). stay healthy and hydrated, i love u <3

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avamm · 18-21, F Best Comment

ah, well thank you for opening up to the wide internet. it takes a lot of courage to post something this deep, and i want to say that im proud of you for how far you've came in your life. sure, there's a time where you feel like you're stuck, and that's how you feel now im assuming. i'm almost 17, and i can def say that life fucking sucks. truly, i know how you feel and it isn't a good feeling at all. but, i can give you advice.

with your friend situation, don't let it get to you. i know that's hard but, people are growing and changing as they have hormones. not saying that's okay for them to be excluding you, but this is a good thing for you. this means you can make better friends, and have better relationships. you have done nothing wrong, but all you can do is keep trying with your mental health. you are very deserving of love and respect, whoever doesn't show you that is garbage. throw them out to the dumpster. keep checking in with what your body needs, and stop listening to people who think they know what's best for you. only you can make decisions for yourself, not them.

if you need anything else, either reply to this, or add my snap : avamako

you're amazing, don't forget that. the hardest battles are worth fighting for. i love you <3

annemariixa · 16-17, F

@avamm thank you so much. this helped a lot, i really appreciate the fact that you took time out of your day to comment this and to make my day atleast a bit better. I love you, thank you <3

RunningFlowers · 16-17

I'm a 14-year-old girl too, and boy is it hard. And although I am in no position to say this, if you do not want to hear any advice/opinions then you do not have to continue reading, but you have to know that you deserve much better, the people that are around you seem to be bad people. I hope that one day you can distance yourself from them. Making up with your friend then fighting again not to long after is not a good thing, I'm not going to push you to do this but it is your choice, you can slowly distance yourself from your friend, if she is not willing to be a good friend for you then she does not deserve to be your friend at all. You have done absolutely nothing wrong, all you needed was support and love and you could not get that. People tend to not understand that what they do harms others. No, it is not a phase to have su!c!dal thoughts because it is completely real, and the fact that your mother told you that it was a phase does not help at all. Adults only realize their scars when their child becomes an adult. Sorry if I sound rude but sometimes people just tick me off, how could they do this to a family member and a friend? I am very sorry that this is happening to you, I hope that one day you can find the help and comfort you need.

annemariixa · 16-17, F

@RunningFlowers thank you so much for this, i really appreciate you :) i’ve been slowly distancing myself from her for a bit and she’s already found new friends and i’m not jealous or anything so that’s progress, i’m actually quite happy that’s she’s dealing with everything well, we were just never meant to be as friends and that’s okay with me. but again, thank you so much. <3

Ventinghelpedme · 16-17, F

Hi! I too am a 14 year old girl who just can’t with life rn .. and seeing this post helped me so much bc I couldn’t relate to smth more :,) I hope ur doing good and that life won’t treat u with to much shit to deal with :] and if u feel the urge to jump of that building go and talk to someone who u personally feel would listen or cry ur heart out to a good song bc sometimes being alive is tiring ~

annemariixa · 16-17, F

@Ventinghelpedme i hope ur doing good too, and i'm so glad i helped. < 3

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annemariixa · 16-17, F

@Xalvadora this made me tear up ngl, i’ve tried talking stuff out with my friend and there’s no difference, we’ve even took a break from each other but nothing has changed and if i’d drop her rn, it would worsen everything for me because i’d have no motivation to get up in the mornings at all that that point. about the family thing, i’d run away tbh but it wouldn’t make a difference really because all my relatives are on my mothers and fathers side and that would ruin everything even more but thank you for this, i really appreciate it and it helped me a lot. i hope life treats you well and that you’re doing good yourself, have a good day/night <33

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