My life is. A mess

Hey... i seriously need help. I have friends... but, you know everybody deserves a chance right? Ok, maybe i have done some shit to hurt my friends like telling lies. Ok, so i hv 2 friends that are boastful , and they didnt want me after they found out the lies i told and that shamed me and sent a long strings of msg to me like howw they feel hurt and they want me to change so i did and so before that thye found a new friend and dumped that new friend because that new friend hated me and they want me back now. They also have a habit of whispering to each other when im around so on and so forth, altho they are fine, my blood is boiling everyday and i feel so angry and crazy that im laughing 4 no reason and laughing hysterically. So i cannnot leave them and i have developed huge trust issues. In fact, i dont have trust issues because now i dont even trust at all. In case u guys ask me to find new friends, i cant as they alr formed their grps so i hv no choice but to follow them or else i will be a freaking loner . And i hate them soo soo much but... i cant do. Anything freaking thing abt it. And they think i was mean to them but thye were actually being mean to me, and i am suffering from depression last time. But now, they both got into the same high school , in fact a really gd one through some shit interview and i didnt so i have to use my grades and they dont need to do as well and i needed that chance more than them as they are smarter than me. So i was a little jealous and one of them rubbed it in even more UNKNOWINGLY by saying they both got into the same sch and im feeling so depressed now i seriously need more freaking advice, thank u ppl for reading this with all ur patience and understanding

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h7234 · 22-25, F

tbh it's your fault. I've had a friend like this. He made up a long string of lies that I stupidly believed. My friend, him, and I were once a very close trio. It happened this year. My friend and I found out he was lying, and like your friends, we sent him a string of long text messages, telling him the things he should've done instead of lying to us, and I even called him for 45 minutes to confront him, since he refused to go to school. However, the whole time I was confronting him, he was either playing genshin or was scrolling through Instagram. My friend, him and I came to an agreement that we should remain things as how it was last time, before my friend and I found out he lied. We agreed, but he suddenly 'dropped' us. He cut our ties of friendship by unfollowing our socials, not updating us, and not messaging us. He also didn't go to school for weeks and days. That's how my friend and I knew that the trio was of no more. He came to school two weeks ago and left something on my table. It was the things I had given him when our friendship was still strong. He had only given me a few things though, not all of my things were returned. I regretted giving those things to him. they were valuable to me, but because I liked him at that time, I gave it to him, without thinking of anything else. So in my opinion, you should apologize to your friends. But if they still don't accept your apology, then it's a goner for you. Your friendship with them will be severed if they don't accept your apology. And why the hell would you lie? Just so y'all could laugh about it? Was it a joke? You do know that lying this much would cause people to have trust issues too right? It's not just you who have trust issues. you made other people you lied to have trust issues. What were you even thinking.

Iiiiiiisdying · 22-25, F

I apologised and they accepted it. But now they are lying to me. And excluding me when we promised that we will stay tgt again.@h7234 futher more, i hv some family problems that are... traumatising and i told them... but... they ... after we made that agreement, i dint lie ever again,but i feel that they are lying to me... thanks for your advice tho. Btw, my other friend also lied with me to that friend... but she managed to escape reponsibility and pushed the greater blame on me

eMortal · M

All of these seems troubling, depressing and life changing right now but believe me in 4 years you’ll laugh at yourself for giving it so much importance.
Don’t spread lies anymore.
As for the current situation, just accept that your friends can’t fully trust you anymore. It’s up to you to live with it or find new friends.
If I were you, I’d focus more on improving my grades.
I hope this helps.

Iiiiiiisdying · 22-25, F

Thank u @eMortal

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