Just need to vent

Sum times I just want to end it I feel shit I feel like idk what to do anymore it all went down hill when covid happened i lost interest in thing I liked I talk back to may family I get this out burst aq and I lost my only friend I gained weight and now with online class I never listen to the teachers anymore idk anything Abt the subjects am scared that I will disappoint my parents they were so happy to see my grades but in truth i just cheat i feel like i was an wanted like my sister is the opposite of me i want to be her to have the same confidences as her but i can’t she’s better in everything if i die i feel like its for the better if am gone.