Need to get things off my chest.

So. I just made this account like 10 minutes ago, so im really new. Im only 22 and expecting my first child. I get no help from my partner and my family. My mother and father had 6 kids. Shes always been there for all of them except me. She helps my 2 30 year old sisters, and my aunts daughter who is also in her 30's. I get they need to vent, but i suffer from anxiety and depression, and now with a child its hard because of pregnancy hormones. My partners family is no help either. His nan, brother and father have been racist to me without giving me a chance. His mother and two younger sisters are the same. I have no hate for them. I domt see why i should hate somebody because of their own opinions on my race. Ive cleaned the house and also made dinner while i can, all while being the best girlfriend to my partner, cleaning his room, washing and feeding him whenever he came home from work. I feel like im not enough for my family, my partner, his family and neither my friends. Ive had a lot, but recently started staying home because of my depression, and also because most of them are drinking/doing drugs and single. I dont wanna bombard them with my pregnant self. Not to mention my partner and i still live with my older sister, who's always expecting me to clean the house when she does nothing but sit and watch me. I want to move put but my partner hasnt had a job in months. Its like hes lazy. Ive been thinking to get a job just to support the baby and I. But with my sister, Ive cleaned every house shes moved into, and shes made it dirty again. I put my heart and soul into keeping the house clean, not for her. But for my 5 year old nephew, who ive given up my teen years to watch, and play a second mother to him. Ive done everything to feeding, playing, teaching him his own culture, making sure he's loved, watched him while they were able to drink, bathed him, put him to sleep. But hes completely forgotten about me and worries about my sister (Not his mother) but my other sister who never been muchly involved in his newborn phase. Now my mother. Ive been telling her since i was 15 I was depressed and wanting to unalive myself, but she told me i shouldnt be depressed because im only a kid. Shes always compared me to my bestfriends, and my older brother or sisters, saying stuff like "Why cant you be like them?" "Why can't you get a job like them" or she tells me im fat and i need to lose weight, and when i want to she shuts me down by laughing, rolling her eyes and just sarcastically agrees. But like i stated earlier, she supports my 30 year old sisters so much. Shes there to the rescue when they have break downs. Ive only cried twice infront of my mum. But they get to cry and she comforts them. But the two times ive shared my feelings and showed emotions, she tells me its okay and to get over it. They can be everything i am, to depressed and she will support them. But never me. My father is still involved in our life, and i love him very dearly, hes my dad. But its hard because everybody tells me i should be grateful i have a father. And i am. But sometimes its hard to accept the things hes done. He treats his side of the family more better than me. He barely talks to me, and drinks a lot. Hes never been there for me, and when i have break down, he never worries just says okay. I got highly jealous of girls at school or my friends who had an amazing bond with their father. I hate what he does, not him. I dont approve of his actions. But i still love him. Never hated him. He was just misunderstood because of his childhood. About the baby part. Im almsot 27 weeks along. Ive always loved kids. Ive always wanted them because ive been watching kids since i was 12 so my childhood had been stripped away from me at a young age. My niece was my first baby who ive spent nights with, comforted her when she hurt herself, fed her. Basically evething ive done with my nephew. I have pcos (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) plus i have diabetes as well. So its been hard. I eventually given up having a baby as i accepted my fate, and i realized im not fully mentally capable of having a baby since i never get help and i suffer severly from anxiety and depression. We found out it was a boy, a kid ive been wanting my whole life, i love my son but i feel as if im selfish letting him be born into this world with a mother whos already physically and mentally drained of everything. My inner kid is jealous of my partner whos had such an amazing childhood. Got to play with friends, go over their house. While i had to stay home. Hes had jobs while my parents forced me to stay home. And told me i didnt need a job. My brothers and sister got to go out clubbing or with friends when they were in highschool, but i had to stay home. I only gotten trusted to go out once when i constantly kept on begging my parents to let me go with family who ive known since birth, at the age of 19. That was the first time i got to go out, without having an axiety attack that my father was going to come there to drag me out of the house. Im sorry this took a lot. But it feels so much better to get off my chest. Ive had to physically stop a few times writing this post because i couldnt even help myself vent. I love my family i never hate them. I love my mother, father, sibling's, my partner and my child. But its been tough. I still accept my partners family and everytually is trying to rekindle the relationship i had with my MIL and SIL. I just feel like im too much of a kind hearted person to cut anybody off, or stop loving/supporting them. Everybody has their own issues, and i have mines. Im sorry if anything i said bothered anybody. You may correct, and tell me im ungrateful if you'd like. I understand i sound very ungrateful because everybody has a harder life than I. I hope everybody is safe and doing well, i give you much love ❤ Thank you for listen better yet, reading my long post, just taking the time out of your lives to just hear myself vent. I fo apologise if it was all over the place as well. Like i said, i had to stop to cry for a little. So i may have jumbled things up.