i hate the person I am.

I can't say "I hate myself" but i just hate the way I act,look,laugh,smile,everything honetly. I don't know why but I am so insecure of myself for so many reasons and I hate myself for it. I just want to be a better person for everyone , for my parents, siblings, friends, classmates, everyone I know. I wanna be the perfect kid. I just wanna be loved by my parents and I always crave for a "i am so roud of you for doing your best" . i always hear it from some people especialy my mom but it sounds so fake. like she is so ungrateful for me and i really dont know how to change that but i just wanna be appreciated by my parents again. i wanna be my parent's little smart girl again. Like how I used to be a long while ago when I were my parent's fav child. well times change, don't they ?