I Just Want To Vent

So my lil cousin who was my everything has died a few days after her bday and new years and my family not sure who murdered her. The police and her moms say its suicide but her closet wasnt big enough to hang herself. Now every year every time I see things she used to enjoy as a child I dont like it no more. My uncle some what blamed me for leaving home to have a life of my own, but he was locked up living with another woman doing wrong in his life, I dont shit sucks I've lost her a year after my great grandma died both was my sunshine now I'm grateful for my daughter but I'm scared she might get harmed.