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Nobody says only profound and revolutionary things, sometimes ya just gotta say whatever. 馃構 Sometimes it gets a bad reaction, and typically a neutral one. Very rarely (in my experience) is there a rousing positive reaction to what is said. But if you never say anything at all you'll never get a positive reaction. 馃榿
That's a cycle that takes effort to break, believe me! I was the most awkward kid in high school and almost everything I said was something that only "the weird kid" would say. XD But then I started just trying not to care what they think because, how important are they to my life? N/A How much influence do they have over my life? Zero! 馃構 They can all suck a duck for all I care! So then I could say whatever and not feel bad about it. Sure there was still a little bit of a sunken heart when everyone just went silent and turned away, but it was WAY easier to get over it and move on, learning from it.
Timing is the real bane of thoughtful people in speech. We want to orchestrate every sentence to convey exactly what we mean, but we never can. Ya gotta realize that not every detail is equally important and that some things can get left out and nobody will get lost. 馃榿
You'll make it, but if you don't start forcing the words out you won't learn how to make it easier for yourself. Just gotta try and don't care what they think when you fail. Because you're awesome! 馃槃
That's a cycle that takes effort to break, believe me! I was the most awkward kid in high school and almost everything I said was something that only "the weird kid" would say. XD But then I started just trying not to care what they think because, how important are they to my life? N/A How much influence do they have over my life? Zero! 馃構 They can all suck a duck for all I care! So then I could say whatever and not feel bad about it. Sure there was still a little bit of a sunken heart when everyone just went silent and turned away, but it was WAY easier to get over it and move on, learning from it.
Timing is the real bane of thoughtful people in speech. We want to orchestrate every sentence to convey exactly what we mean, but we never can. Ya gotta realize that not every detail is equally important and that some things can get left out and nobody will get lost. 馃榿
You'll make it, but if you don't start forcing the words out you won't learn how to make it easier for yourself. Just gotta try and don't care what they think when you fail. Because you're awesome! 馃槃
@FormerChild but ive had that happen sooo many times. I say something in class (and im trying to be serious) and people just laugh. Everything that your saying is true but I always end up thinking: if everyone hates me and thinks im stupid then what? Plus my teacher is the head of my dept and for scholarships I might have to ask her for a rec. Maybe I just think about too much irrelavat stuff before i speak.
But I will try to let go of all inhibitions (no promises cause that is pretty tough stuff). I guess the only way is to force the words out of my mouth. And thanks! Your pretty awesome yourself馃憟馃槑
But I will try to let go of all inhibitions (no promises cause that is pretty tough stuff). I guess the only way is to force the words out of my mouth. And thanks! Your pretty awesome yourself馃憟馃槑
@TURTLEGOD If they don't like you that's their loss. I know that you're a lot of fun and if you're anything in real life like you are here then you'd be a great friend and you'd brighten a lot of people's days. 馃榿
I'm hoping for the best for ya! I think it'll work out if you can just do that. It gets pretty easy after a while, and you might make a friend or two along the way. 馃構
I'm hoping for the best for ya! I think it'll work out if you can just do that. It gets pretty easy after a while, and you might make a friend or two along the way. 馃構
argav83 路 36-40, M
I think at first you do need to talk to atleast with one person. And then try to build up from there. It'll be hard bcoz of your anxiety and insecurity but keep trying anyways. You can even start a conversation by asking for a help like asking for notes or something else u need help with. Start it in formal way, talk about activities related to school bcoz you probably wont feel comfortable sharing anything personal too soon. And others might have noticed your behavior so when u get to talk to someone and they ask u why were you like that just say that "you are very introvert but interested in making friends. It's just hard to you to easily make it happen bcoz of basic nature". It wont make you feel insecure in front of them. In a way you can tell them about your problem without looking unfriendly.
argav83 路 36-40, M
SagePoet 路 61-69, M
I was like you. I never said a word in school. But then in college I had to take a course that was about how to make an argument. And I had to get up in front of the class and make a 10 minute talk with using my notes minimally.
If I could do it, you could. Don't be so concerned what other people are going to do or say. Be concerned about yourself. You lack confidence in yourself. You can do this I know you can. Go easy on yourself, don't set unreasonable goals or deadlines, no pressure and you'll find yourself when you're ready you'll just speak and afterwards you'll feel really good, feel really proud of yourself.
If I could do it, you could. Don't be so concerned what other people are going to do or say. Be concerned about yourself. You lack confidence in yourself. You can do this I know you can. Go easy on yourself, don't set unreasonable goals or deadlines, no pressure and you'll find yourself when you're ready you'll just speak and afterwards you'll feel really good, feel really proud of yourself.
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MarkPaul 路 26-30, M
1. What about telling the teacher and asking for help?
2. What about practicing by yourself in front of a mirror?
3. What about taking what someone else said, agreeing, and then just stating it in your own words?
4. What about sticking to just saying 1 sentence with as few words as possible as a first step?
I had this same type of problem. There is no magic and no easy way out. Unfortunately, the only way to overcome the anxiety and/or fear of doing something is to actually do it. The thing to remember is even if everyone does hate you for what you say, you won't be any better or worse off for it. So... there really isn't any risk - when you THINK about it - for speaking up.
2. What about practicing by yourself in front of a mirror?
3. What about taking what someone else said, agreeing, and then just stating it in your own words?
4. What about sticking to just saying 1 sentence with as few words as possible as a first step?
I had this same type of problem. There is no magic and no easy way out. Unfortunately, the only way to overcome the anxiety and/or fear of doing something is to actually do it. The thing to remember is even if everyone does hate you for what you say, you won't be any better or worse off for it. So... there really isn't any risk - when you THINK about it - for speaking up.
@MarkPaul #1 is like jumping off a cliff into the sea and I can't swim. Ive done the practicing in front of a mirror thing but I feel like in anticipation of talking all the confidence I got from practice is crushed. But I will try 4 though, I think i should talk at least once in class so that might work. I keep feeling that if I say something it has to be long drawn out and insightful.
MarkPaul 路 26-30, M
@TURTLEGOD 4a-Before you do anything, listen intently (INTENTLY) to what the others are saying. You will quickly realize they are not saying anything that insightful. Most things anyone says isn't insightful; it really isn't That isn't a put-down; it's just the way it is. No one (NO ONE) says anything THAT insightful. If you want to test my point outside of the classroom, just listen to something (anything) donald trump says on any random day (and he's the president). He's the least insightful of any human being I have ever come across on this planet (and that's even when he is reading prepared comments).
4b- After listening to how UN-insightful everyone else is, you will see you have been trying to live up to a level of perfection that simply does not exist in normal everyday conversation. THEN (and only THEN), speak a single simple sentence. The goal at this point is NOT to be insightful. It's simply to say something. You do want it to be relevant to the topic, but keep it as simple as possible.
4c- Congratulate yourself on the accomplishment. Be sure not to neglect this final step. And, let me know how it goes. I am interested to know. It's actually how I made my first start. I still have traces of social anxiety, but I am able to freely engage in conversations. You can too.
4b- After listening to how UN-insightful everyone else is, you will see you have been trying to live up to a level of perfection that simply does not exist in normal everyday conversation. THEN (and only THEN), speak a single simple sentence. The goal at this point is NOT to be insightful. It's simply to say something. You do want it to be relevant to the topic, but keep it as simple as possible.
4c- Congratulate yourself on the accomplishment. Be sure not to neglect this final step. And, let me know how it goes. I am interested to know. It's actually how I made my first start. I still have traces of social anxiety, but I am able to freely engage in conversations. You can too.
@MarkPaul I feel like talking at all is still a big step but thanks for the in-depth steps. Once I finally re-build the confidence to speak up and do it ill tell about how it went. I guess the hardest part is getting out of my imagination about all the terrible ways they could react to what I say.