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I Am Upset

My friend of five years told me a week ago that she's tired of always driving to my area. She waits five years later to tell me she hates driving towards me. It's a 35 minute drive. I can't go her way because I still can't drive and I don't like to bother my parents to drive me to her house because I know they have lives. That's why I wait until she texts me asking to hang out because then I assume that means she's in the mood to drive towards my area. She kept questioning me telling me to finally get my license but I already told her everything that's stopping me from getting one but she doesn't care. And she doesn't like the fact that my mom is afraid of driving to places that are unfamiliar. Everyone has irrational fears. She kept saying it's annoying how my parents always assume that she can always drive my way but they have nothing to do with it. They don't offer because I don't ask them. I know my family's routine. My mom has her fears with driving and my dad works all week so on weekends he likes to sleep all day. I'm not going to interrupt him from his nap just to bring me far to my friend's. I'm sick of having friends that always expect me to go out of my way for them yet when I ask for the same in return, they act like they're selling their souls. I compromised with her and told her we'll find a halfway point. She texted me a few hours ago. I'm now afraid of her asking me to hang out because then I'll have to ask my dad to drive me to a halfway point and I hate bothering him.
pearllederman61-69, F
dont they have buses in your area? i dont drive either
JewStar4Life31-35, F
The bus system is horrible here. It's so humid and I always get nervous relying buses.
SW-User
If you are between 22-25, what reasons could you have for not learning to drive?
@JewStar4Life:
You live inside your head and assume too much .
It's really crazy making, I know bc I practice this too (unfortunately).

Call him and just do it.
You have nothing to lose and much to gain.

LIVE your life.
JewStar4Life31-35, F
@Laifu1: He's a New Yorker. They don't hide what they feel. I don't need a whole lecture from him about me still not taking the test. Plus, I already spent $300 on the lessons. I'm not going to keep paying for them.
JewStar4Life31-35, F
@Lunadelobos: Yes I do. I have $300 to lose. That's why I'll just give my dad one more chance. If he blows it, then my mom will help me. I just know that nothing will change when I get my license. I'll never be independent.
CarmenSanDiego36-40, F
It probably took her 5 years to get sick of it. Get uber or a taxi or ask your mom. Relationships are 50/50 and you're not putting as much info as her.
JewStar4Life31-35, F
Like I said in my last post, I've done plenty for her. I even gave her a $200 necklace for her birthday. I always let her run the show when she's here. She's taken advantage of me many times when we go shopping so I don't need to feel guilty about anything. If she hated driving me, she should have told me from the get go.
This message was deleted by the author of the main post.
TamTenn22-25
I'm sorry, that really sucks 馃槥
My suggestion would be public transit,
or if it is warm enough perhaps you can bike half way?
@JewStar4Life:
You can use fear to your advantage.
Everyone is nervous or afraid of something:
it's human nature to be.

But if we let fear *drive our bus* so to speak, that is not the way we want to be functioning, yes? :)
It keeps us TOTALLY stuck.
Basically, we are the living dead.
Bound by our fears, endless justifications and INERTIA.
We are atrophying...

You will need to get your gumption and courage together
and just FLY one day dear :)
If you won't risk , you'll never grow as a person.

LIFE is NOT about PERFECTION.
I think it's about experiences and love and joy and yeah,
there is pain and stuff that hurts or even breaks us.
Then we heal and keep on trekkin' , all the while, seeking out allies.

I would rather be dead than stuck in some FING BOX for the rest of my life.

LIVE :) !
JewStar4Life31-35, F
@Lunadelobos: Well said :)
@JewStar4Life:
;)

Hugs, L.
Yeah I hate bothering my parents as well even though they are really friendly. Im sorta shy with my parents so I get you. Maybe you'll get used to asking your parents?
JewStar4Life31-35, F
Well, my dad already drives me to work. That's why I always feel nervous asking for an extra thing. Like that would be pushing it.
Time to find new friends.
JewStar4Life31-35, F
@Laifu1: She is in that she waits five years to tell me this. And when she is in my area, I let her run the show. She always picks what we do. And when we go shopping despite me not being in the mood, I stand there as she picks and tries on clothes because I figure it's the least I could do. And she tends to ramble all the time and I force myself to focus all of my attention on her even when I don't want to. Trust me, I'm a good friend.
SW-User
@JewStar4Life: Ahh. I see. It sounds like you two need to actually communicate a bit better.
This message was deleted by the author of the main post.
JaggedLittlePill46-50, F
Friendships are two way streets. She has valid points.
JewStar4Life31-35, F
I know what she means but my situation is complicated. Sometimes people have to accept what is. If that's the case, then she'll have to wait until I get my license to see me. But even then, my parents don't want me driving to her area until I get enough experience. Not just with me but my siblings as well.
JaggedLittlePill46-50, F
@JewStar4Life: It seems to me that you are making your situation complicated. It is not complicated. Finish driving instruction and get your license so that you can drive yourself.
JewStar4Life31-35, F
@JaggedLittlePill: Even if I drive myself, I'll still have to ask my parents if I could use the car. They'll ask for where and when and how long. I know because that's what my siblings are going through right now. I can't afford my own car. Either way I lose.

 
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