So I don't think they have cared about me like I cared about them.
It happened several times. With several people.
At least I have learned to distance myself from them.
Yay. 😮💨
At least I have learned to distance myself from them.
Yay. 😮💨
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SnailTeeth · 36-40, M
I love the person I was with briefly, but they never admit fault, and now they're contradicting themselves. I don't want to waste the energy cross-examining them, because I think it would only hurt them.
They accuse me of doing all these things, then turn around and do those things or have done those things in the past.
And I think they avoid that level of self-transparency because they hinge their value on their performance, and don't see themselves on a deeper level.
I don't blame them; I think it's from childhood trauma of being ignored or overlooked, unless they were doing something exceptional.
So they think they need to be that person all the time, and they're afraid to show weakness because they fear that blemish will necrophy the rest of their being.
I think they're seeking validation through unhealthy avenues and are not ready to come to terms with that level of self-transparency. And because of this, they're unable to take accountability for the jealousy or insecurity they create in their selfishness.
I'm not saying I'm the most perceptive person, but when I care I do tend to be analytical, even if I keep my realizations close to the chest.
I'm just trying to stick by them as a supportive friend now. I feel bad for them, but I don't think there's a way to help someone with that. I want them to feel valid, but I hate seeing their continued patterns of self-sabotage. At least it's made me wiser and more aware of the red flags to avoid when engaging in anything beyond commonplace civil interactions. I tried to enter a relationship with someone who wasn't assertive enough to communicate that it isn't what they want, and the lack of assertion has been a common theme. They seem to rely too heavily on aggression and avoidance, and seem to fear that being assertive will drive people away.
I think most people have a problem with being transparent rather than honest, because they fear hurting peoples' feelings.
They accuse me of doing all these things, then turn around and do those things or have done those things in the past.
And I think they avoid that level of self-transparency because they hinge their value on their performance, and don't see themselves on a deeper level.
I don't blame them; I think it's from childhood trauma of being ignored or overlooked, unless they were doing something exceptional.
So they think they need to be that person all the time, and they're afraid to show weakness because they fear that blemish will necrophy the rest of their being.
I think they're seeking validation through unhealthy avenues and are not ready to come to terms with that level of self-transparency. And because of this, they're unable to take accountability for the jealousy or insecurity they create in their selfishness.
I'm not saying I'm the most perceptive person, but when I care I do tend to be analytical, even if I keep my realizations close to the chest.
I'm just trying to stick by them as a supportive friend now. I feel bad for them, but I don't think there's a way to help someone with that. I want them to feel valid, but I hate seeing their continued patterns of self-sabotage. At least it's made me wiser and more aware of the red flags to avoid when engaging in anything beyond commonplace civil interactions. I tried to enter a relationship with someone who wasn't assertive enough to communicate that it isn't what they want, and the lack of assertion has been a common theme. They seem to rely too heavily on aggression and avoidance, and seem to fear that being assertive will drive people away.
I think most people have a problem with being transparent rather than honest, because they fear hurting peoples' feelings.