How do I find the life I want to be living?

| love board games. I never get to play them. I don’t have friends, and my boyfriend refuses. Tonight i dragged my boyfriend out to my coworkers birthday (had to beg) to have a few drinks and i finally got to play boardgames. He wouldnt play. It was the most fun ive had in a long, long time. Then we leave and go to our same seedy dive bar where they start doing coke and do the same routine of bathroom- beer - cigarette - repeat, and I sit at a table doing nothing but getting drunker. I dont enjoy that anymore.
I dont know if i ever did. I want boardgames.

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Casheyane · 31-35, F

I think you should give it a go to meet and bond with other people. If you're already sensing you're in the wrong company, there is a reason for it. Listen to yourself.

vannagail · 22-25, F

@Casheyane i wish it was that simple. I need more independence… if i leave my one person, im alone

Casheyane · 31-35, F

@vannagail Personally, I don't really have a social life. But experiences taught me I'd rather be able to enjoy myself alone than be with a crowd who makes me feel lonely.
I don't meet with people often. But when I do meet some who call themselves my friends, I can say I feel valued and heard even for a bit. I try out the things they like. But if I don't want to do it again, we find a compromise and they do the things I like. We end up finding things we all enjoy.

Being alone can seem scary if you're not used to solitude. But making compromise and sacrificing your own satisfaction for the sake of company...depending on where you look, it can be more pitiful.
In the end, time will reveal what will mean more to you. And you'll have to learn how to make hard choices. It's your only life after all.