Unfortunate that you have to go through services twice, but the military honors can be uplifting as well. It reminds one of a side of the deceased we probably never fully understood and of their service to the nation that we may not have fully appreciated. Setting aside the grieving, it is a ceremony that can be emotionally gripping and memorable, imho, and having already been through the public grieving with the first memorial perhaps you can appreciate.

The taps always gets me. And the funny thing is it I do not relate it to my days in the army, nor even with death. In college, for the Big Game vs. our neighboring university, there would be a bonfire rally in an amphitheater at the mouth of a canyon. At the conclusion of the rally, they would read an eulogy to a legendary coach who had guided our team to one of the best and longest winning records in football history. The eulogy concluded with a line about how defeat, as it must to all teams, finally came to the team and "two months later, as it must, came to Andy Smith." And a solitary trumpet somewhere in the canyon would sound an sorrowful, haunting, echoing taps. Which, rather than generating mournful grieving, fired up the crowd, rallying them to go out and urge the team to victory the next day.

May the ceremony bring you better memories than further grieving. Just know that your late husband appreciates your honoring his service, and wants you to have that flag to remember better times. . .not just his death.