Monday is the Day

Although I am glad to honor my late husband with military honors on Monday, part of me doesn't want to go.
Not because I do not wish to honor his service to the country, but because it feels like he just died again going up there to bury the ashes.
We were going to have a graveside service for his family members who couldn't come to the memorial, but since none of them can be bothered to come this time either, we decided to just do the military honors.
Another service would be a lot to deal with, and the main thing is I am carrying out his wishes with the military honors,
So, if you are the praying sort, shoot up a prayer for me on Monday, going to be a hard day,