Unexpected Loss

There was a woman who was a minister, spiritual advisor- whom I had known for over 12yrs, I just found out today that she passed in the end of March but what triggered me to call her was a dream I had about her last night.
Life is lifing and the last text I sent her was last Mothers Day in which she responded. I feel guilty I didn't reach out a such but I had a lot going on in my life. I really hate the way this feels. Noone reached out to let me know she was sick.