DeWayfarer · 61-69, M
It was wrong of them to do that. Yet try to think of that as things. Things can't replace the memories, even though they can help as reminders.
There's so many things that my own siblings took when our mom passed away. Yet they can't take away the memories.
Your parents will always live on in your memories and those they have influenced.
I believe that is the purpose of days like memorial day. Sadly not everyone gets that day off. So you have to make your own day. It helps if there's some meaning in the day you pick special to your loved ones.🤗
There's so many things that my own siblings took when our mom passed away. Yet they can't take away the memories.
Your parents will always live on in your memories and those they have influenced.
I believe that is the purpose of days like memorial day. Sadly not everyone gets that day off. So you have to make your own day. It helps if there's some meaning in the day you pick special to your loved ones.🤗
WillaKissing · 56-60, M
My father died four years before my mother's death. When my mother was diagnosed with stage four cancer. She immediately contacted me and my siblings to come to her and our late father's home for her post death wishes.
Mom had me the oldest as the estate trustee and my siblings to all walk through her home with her deciding on who got what when she passed. She had me write it all down and once we all agreed on what went to whom. She made each of us to sign and to date the papers and gave that to her estate attorney in case her last wishes were disputed. I and the siblings were given copies. We all followed it post our mother's passing. Only my younger brother tried to buck the signed and dated papers, and I quickly said no, and we will follow these, or we can let the court and attorney to handle it of course all at your expense in the end as the executor I have that right. He shut up and followed the papers.
I learned then and there how wise my mother was for only having a high school education and being a housewife, she knew her offspring and how to still mother them post her passing.
I have done this with my son and daughter for my estate but post my son's passing/death my daughter gets the entire lot now. And I highly suggest this difficult task for you all while we still are healthy and breathing. It simplifies the entire post death process for the survivors.
Mom had me the oldest as the estate trustee and my siblings to all walk through her home with her deciding on who got what when she passed. She had me write it all down and once we all agreed on what went to whom. She made each of us to sign and to date the papers and gave that to her estate attorney in case her last wishes were disputed. I and the siblings were given copies. We all followed it post our mother's passing. Only my younger brother tried to buck the signed and dated papers, and I quickly said no, and we will follow these, or we can let the court and attorney to handle it of course all at your expense in the end as the executor I have that right. He shut up and followed the papers.
I learned then and there how wise my mother was for only having a high school education and being a housewife, she knew her offspring and how to still mother them post her passing.
I have done this with my son and daughter for my estate but post my son's passing/death my daughter gets the entire lot now. And I highly suggest this difficult task for you all while we still are healthy and breathing. It simplifies the entire post death process for the survivors.
RubySoo · 56-60, F
@WillaKissing your mum was very forward thinking.
The point im making is how insensitive they have been throwing certain things away. Personalised 'grandma, grandad' gifts, obviously from one of the grandkids. They knew it wasnt from their kids, so it must have been from ours. So....why couldnt thay just have left it aside for a few days to give us chance to ask the kids if they wanted it? Did it really have to go straight away?? Of course it didnt.
I'm not bothered by anything they've kept for themselves, just pissed off things my kids would have wanted have been thrown or donated and they didnt consider how they would feel.
They have even thrown away crosstitch gifts I made them!
I hope mother haunts them!
The point im making is how insensitive they have been throwing certain things away. Personalised 'grandma, grandad' gifts, obviously from one of the grandkids. They knew it wasnt from their kids, so it must have been from ours. So....why couldnt thay just have left it aside for a few days to give us chance to ask the kids if they wanted it? Did it really have to go straight away?? Of course it didnt.
I'm not bothered by anything they've kept for themselves, just pissed off things my kids would have wanted have been thrown or donated and they didnt consider how they would feel.
They have even thrown away crosstitch gifts I made them!
I hope mother haunts them!
akindheart · 61-69, F
@WillaKissing that was very smart. my mother cut me and one of my 4 brothers out of her will. but i had to clean up the mess. there was not a lot to split and i got paid for being the administrix ...about 2400.00. we auctioned everything off.
WillaKissing · 56-60, M
@RubySoo Thank you yes, my mother was extremely forward thinking and a brilliant woman.
I know/knew exactly what you were saying, and again your sister in-law was extremely callous and heartless.
My response was an example of how best to avoid that tragedy your sister in-law created.
I know/knew exactly what you were saying, and again your sister in-law was extremely callous and heartless.
My response was an example of how best to avoid that tragedy your sister in-law created.
Oh this is really devastating for your family. Even for us hearers, and we're not even part of the family! This is absolutely atrocious and so insensitive. My heart goes out to you all that got left out. It is just beyond words. I'm so sorry this happened. It seems like something could be done but I sure don't know what. That was just so wrong. My deepest condolences Ruby, to all who got left out. How shameful of them. I would be livid. It's just the point of it. They didn't have to be so selfish and hog at all. Not even thinking of one other person.
meggie · F
You've done only good caring for her for a long time. They just want the house cleared for a quick sale so they can grab the proceeds of that. I feel for you and your immediate family. What they did was totally disrespectful and unkind. They really are like wild animals grabbing like that. Some people see death as a free for all sadly. When a lovely neighbour died recently, the old windbag across the road banged on the door the next say asking for a mirror she'd always liked. I'm sorry you were treated this way and hope they leave you alone after the funeral. X
RubySoo · 56-60, F
DoubleRings · 51-55, F
Death brings out the worst in people. My dad’s death made a demon out of everyone but we had the opposite issue - no one wanted to deal with his things at all!
It could get worse before it gets better. Hang in there. Also only the executor should be in charge of her things. Who’s executor? They are responsible for distribution of belongings and assets.
It could get worse before it gets better. Hang in there. Also only the executor should be in charge of her things. Who’s executor? They are responsible for distribution of belongings and assets.
DoubleRings · 51-55, F
@RubySoo they can be beneficiaries but they still have no right to take what they want. Essentially it’s stealing. It’s not theirs! It belongs to the estate until the executor says it’s theirs. If someone steals items of value then then should receive less from any sale of assets to be liquidated. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’d have your hubby talk to the executor if he’s one of the three beneficiaries. All assets and belongings should be frozen on the day of death.
WillaKissing · 56-60, M
Casheyane · 31-35, F
What is stopping you from actually slapping her?
