Sometimes I think about dying just to

See who misses me, who is at my funeral,how many go..

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SW-User

It's not really worth giving other people that much power over your being.
It's okay to live just for yourself to see what experiences you can have.

Lonelyandyb · 36-40, M

@SW-User But to a point people control my salary, whether have a job, whether I have Friends/GF

SW-User

@Lonelyandyb yes we are in an interconnected society and our survival depends on each other. But there is also an element of freedom you can have that doesn't depend on what other people think or feel about you.
Maximise on that.
What will it matter who misses you when you are dead? Why not focus on how life can be when you are living?