Why do you bother to bring flowers and light candles in the cemetery? Do you do it for the living or for the dead?

It's something I am wondering about.
I know it's become tradition, like a means to gather with family and respect the dead.

But the dead are dead. Inside the tombs, they're bones. Inside the urns, they're ashes.

I mean no disrespect. I just genuinely like to understand. Deep down, if there is no one who would see you do it or who would expect you to do it, would you still do it? And why?

Would you do it for the living? For yourself? For the dead? Why?

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DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

Veneration is usually the reason. However that is not the only reason. Nor are only just those two things brought.

Think why do you prefer certain colors? Why do you do certain things only one way? Why do you only use your right hand and not your left hand or the other way around?

Think of those things in light of others traditions. And why you don't disrupt someone's grave, eulogy or memorial.

That's a tradition as well. Think why you don't. As well as why they do. All of that has a lot to do with respect and choices.

Wars have been fought over those concepts.

Imagine what would happen if either side knew of the burial sites of Jesus and Mohammed. And one or the other or both sides bomb those burial places.

If that would happen, what would that mean?

When asking questions about why others do, it's best to turn it around and ask why you don't do the complete opposite. It's usually the same reason.