Why do you bother to bring flowers and light candles in the cemetery? Do you do it for the living or for the dead?

It's something I am wondering about.
I know it's become tradition, like a means to gather with family and respect the dead.

But the dead are dead. Inside the tombs, they're bones. Inside the urns, they're ashes.

I mean no disrespect. I just genuinely like to understand. Deep down, if there is no one who would see you do it or who would expect you to do it, would you still do it? And why?

Would you do it for the living? For yourself? For the dead? Why?

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DrWatson · 70-79, M

Here is how I see it.

For some people, symbols are rich with meaning and are an important way of relating to the world. For other people, this is not so true. And among those who relate to symbols, we don't all relate to them in the same contexts.

Putting flowers on a grave, saluting a flag, erecting a statue, can all be seen as "objectively" not changing anything. And yet, they might have a profound effect on the people who are relating to those flowers, that flag, or that statue.

As for me, I am very big on symbols. Yet I have to confess that this particular practice, putting flowers on graves, is not one that means a lot to me.