This is the effects of colorism in your community.

Cherish your Heritage my man, you come from Great Stock!

i used to hate being asian when i was younger but i came to terms with it some years ago after watching chinese shows and programs .. ☺ some groups can have negative stereotypes of others but not everything is bad.. there's probably nice aspects to every culture group and people who aren't haters of themselves or others as well.. negativity is detrimental in general

can you still go to university now or is there an age limit to it?

I felt like this too as a kid and even into my twenties and then something shifted so that I could feel the disconnect. That feeling kept getting heavier until I decided I needed to reestablish a connection with my community, which has brought a lot of comfort and clarity for me.

We all must walk our own paths, though. I hope that you can find peace within yourself.

You should definitely honor that. There aren't many left unfortunately. And the fact you think you have "privileges" it's sad because they made you think this.
It's called Reparations or Compensatory Justice and it's not even 0.0000000001% of what needs to be repaired.

Your mom is honoring her heritage and she's inspiring other natives to be do the same and not hide a culture that has been done so much injustice and was suffocated for such a long time.

I hope you can find your path and unapologetically be who you are.

I see it like this-all of previous ancestors have existed just so I can be here today.