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I Have a Confession

I want to rewind back to when it was just me and my husband. No baby, no dog, no nothing. I wish I could go back to then and make different decisions that would mean we aren't arguing constantly and we don't have a special needs baby.

I am SO BORED everyday and I've got so fat and disgusting. Everything I say is stupid or wrong or inappropriate. I've lost control.

It's a bad confession, but I have postnatal depression and currently it's all I can think about.
If you need an ear, ever, PM me. I won't promise to answer immediately, but if I'm alive and have internet, I promise to listen and answer. No judgments.
Starsandfire · 31-35, F
@Mamapolo2016 thank you. I was supposed to be having counselling this week but it was cancelled at the last minute, they don't know if the therapist will be back any time soon so that's it basically
There are other therapists. I will do my best to try to help you find help where you are. Or just listen. Or whatever you need that I can ease even a little. @Starsandfire
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1pebbles · 56-60, F
@JohnDillinger as you know it’s a life changing event. Every child is precious! Some mothers need additional support. I pray she seeks support. Grateful she didn’t choose abortion, because the child is a living being at conception.

You were blessed with such a special child, unique, individual. I’m sure you’re stronger because of the difficulties you and your family have faced.
Starsandfire · 31-35, F
@1pebbles my support cancelled and can't offer me any future dates 🙄 I love her and I know she's special and going to be fine (I got her nice and big for her surgery, despite every day being a massive struggle for her to eat) but it's the day to day I'm starting to struggle with. More the depression I have than her diagnosis
1pebbles · 56-60, F
@Starsandfire I pray you find the support/help you need. It’s a struggle! The hardly sleeping.....been there....life will go on and your child won’t be this age forever.
Here is a site that can help you find an online support group. I encourage you to give it a try. It's a place where you can talk to people who understand the place you're at. I found it a life-saver during my late husband's illness.


https://www.friendshipcircle.org/blog/2013/09/03/10-reasons-special-needs-parents-should-join-a-support-group/
I was mad as a hatter after my daughter's birth - not the same way, but mad all the same.

Depression tries to persuade you things will always be the way they are at this moment. They won't.

Hang on to hope and grab every outreached hand until you're back on your feet - and you will be.
1pebbles · 56-60, F
You’re hormones will straighten out and your baby will grow. This too shall pass.
hearttalk · M
I read your post and wanted to come alongside and be an encouragement to you today.
SW-User
I had it also . Please get help if you can . I was very bad.🌸🌸
I doubt anyone in a bad place doesn't long for a rewind button. Unfortunately, forward is the only direction life has.

Are you getting help for your post-natal depression?
firefall · 61-69, M
Thats horribly hard to fight through :( I hope you're getting some treatment for it?
Starsandfire · 31-35, F
@firefall it was cancelled, my therapist took a last minute leave of absence and they couldn't get another one
firefall · 61-69, M
@Starsandfire ugh, that's really brutal. I hope they're still looking for someone, you clearly need & deserve support urgently
SW-User
babies are a blessing, with a great blessing comes great responsibility
Listen. I'd like to talk with you if you are willing. PM me, please.
hearttalk · M
Glad that you took time to respond to my message.
Starsandfire · 31-35, F
@hearttalk thank you :)

 
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