Sad
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Is it normal or weird?

Since my moms passing over 2 weeks ago that’s all I have been posting here.

I have been recently noticing that I have been angry and yelling as I am mad and sad and angry. I want break things and yell from the top of my lungs. I only yell inside my pillow and hit myself instead because I am mad and don’t want to break things in my home? Am I crazy is this normal to grieve this way or am losing my shit?

. I am angry that my mom suffered a lot. I am angry that she never lived the life she deserved. I am angry that some of my siblings put her through the worst. I am angry that she was embarrassed of her skin color. I am angry that she never felt beautiful. I am angry about so many things. I just wish she was here. No matter how much I tried to tried to be the best daughter and not give her shit like some of my siblings did, I just feel like I didn’t do enough. I wish I had the money to help her more than what I did help her with. I wish I would have visited her more. Although I called her every week almost every day I feel like I didn’t do enough and I am angry because I wish she was here so I can talk to her. I know she is not suffering anymore but I just miss her.
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PTCdresser57 · 61-69, M
Sorry for your loss. We all grieve in our own way...this may be your way. My dad passed in 2020 after suffering TIA's in 2016. He was never my dad again after the TIA's so in my mind he died then. Was I feeling like you...yes but... we all are born to die at some point. My pastor helped by telling me that " none of us will die until God has our room ready and the door is open." So for 4 yrs my dad suffered....then God had his room ready.
JSul3 · 70-79
@PTCdresser57
Sorry for your loss.
I would ask god why he had to suffer for 4 years.