Is it normal or weird?

Since my moms passing over 2 weeks ago that’s all I have been posting here.

I have been recently noticing that I have been angry and yelling as I am mad and sad and angry. I want break things and yell from the top of my lungs. I only yell inside my pillow and hit myself instead because I am mad and don’t want to break things in my home? Am I crazy is this normal to grieve this way or am losing my shit?

. I am angry that my mom suffered a lot. I am angry that she never lived the life she deserved. I am angry that some of my siblings put her through the worst. I am angry that she was embarrassed of her skin color. I am angry that she never felt beautiful. I am angry about so many things. I just wish she was here. No matter how much I tried to tried to be the best daughter and not give her shit like some of my siblings did, I just feel like I didn’t do enough. I wish I had the money to help her more than what I did help her with. I wish I would have visited her more. Although I called her every week almost every day I feel like I didn’t do enough and I am angry because I wish she was here so I can talk to her. I know she is not suffering anymore but I just miss her.

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2brandon2 · 18-21, M

Being angry is a normal part of the grieving process. There are normal stages of grief but what the books don’t tell you is if they don’t fall in order they come and they go they come in different stages different times one minute one minute feeling angry the next minute feeling sad trying to point blame believe me I’ve been through it, there is a book by Dr. Kübler Ross on death and dying a very good book. I lost my mom when I was nine she was murdered to this day. I go through the stages but I tend to focus more on the positive that she gave me while she was with me , I recommend this book because it really helped me out a lot. I have decided not to get locked up in an anger because anger built into hatred and it’ll envelope your body and take over your life. It’s fine initially when you’re first going through it but at some point, celebrate your mothers life, and what she did for you aside from your siblings . Sincerely, Brandon.