We have control over some things but not others. .
Iam now 57 and dont mind sharing life with strangers as personally it gets things off of my chest. May give some people joy at the pics we post. Help others who relate to other things we post. Sometimes we vent or share because we are alone or alone in the sense that this place gives us the anonymity without really caring if we are judged by those who dont really count to you personally. Its a circus here. I like many like it here on and off. Reading posts. Sometimes happy and funny. Sometimes sad and relatable. Sometimes not. I try to look after myself physically. Still learning mentally too. But in reality thats a lifetimes work for most people in life. I have lived a very hectic life when young. I have worked hard and live a totally different life now and for many many years before now. I walk alot. I cycle and use some weights (not ego lifting or heavy stuff) Physically to look at i look very healthy for my age. Although ive abused myself too. Somethings were my own fault. Some not. That still stands for us all i guess. From a fairly rowdy and quite violent home life. The youngest of 6 i was born a drug and alcohol addicted baby. My mother a beautiful but very troubled soul. I love her and dont have anything but love for her. She was in and out of a mental asylum a few times bless her. Dad was the soul bread winner so we went hungry Sometimes as there were many mouths to feed in times of poverty. Life didnt feel sad then. We only know and feel what we learn ,and when aware later in life try to learn from others mishaps or mistakes and pass better lives onto our offspring and pray the cycle of circumstance changes. Thankfully it has for my children. I have been abused. Jailed at 15. Homeless at 19 and 47. (Only 3 months though at 47) Been kidnapped and beat to a pulp. Almost having my right eye burnt out. Got in with some nasty people very nearly getting knapped again. Guys with guns after me. Some bikers. Alsorts of skullduggery which again Sometimes i was the architect of my own downfalls Sometimes not. I was drug addicted to heroin and crack after early in life gatewaying it into the drug scene using just cannabis. Then like most a snowball until i eventually f.cked around and found out. My fault. Those days are long gone and scars heal mentally. My brother. My parents. My wife. My grandson gone. Those scars are the ones that left me and more importantly one of my children and my sibblings with scars. But whoever goes through more or less than me/us please keep getting up. Knocking off the dust and keep pushing. Since 53 years old ive had sepsis a abdominal aneurism. A year later 4 heart stents. And Tuesday just gone woke up totally blind in my left eye. Im praying its not a TIA and have hospital this week coming. I had a brain scan and have a long appointment next week to scan my vascular system. Iam so greatful for that but a little afraid at the same time. Probably why im posting all of this 😆😆 No seriously i dont care if im judged for life. Im writing it as parts of the brief story of life i have given of personal life may hopefully give certain people hope that whatever life chucks at you, you can still keep on fighting. We all crumble at times but keep battling on once dark days pass. I havnt been as active until i get my appointment done and dusted but still went walking yesterday for 8 plus miles. Today 5. Not going to cycle yet though. Even if you are not a physically active person though please find a way as a coping mechanism if life has got or gets you down. If youve read this far then sorry for taking ten minutes of your life 😆 If its helped or you relate and can find any strength from this semi rant then thats great. If you feel nothing or judge thats fine too. We are all indiduals. Peace out 🙂✌
