Accepting defeat.

I finally made my mind up to end it. Half of my life has been spent trying to fix what was never right to begin with. I can’t stand the thought of looking back another five, ten, twenty years from now, wishing I had been strong enough to do what should have been done years ago. I know my life is going to be harder in some ways, but I also know that I can’t keep hoping he will change, be better. I deserve better. My kids deserve better. They deserved better their entire young lives, but foolishly I believed keeping our family together was the right thing to do. Now they are young adults, and I see the pain they carry deep within themselves, despite the amazing, resilient individuals they have grown into. I truly wish with all of my heart that he will find whatever it is he is missing. I hope he is able to repair the brokenness between him and his children before it is too late, if it isn’t already. It hurts so deeply to know that sometimes loving someone is not enough. That sometimes you are not enough.

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

LadyGrace ·

You have a choice to end the abuse, but you do not need to end your life in order to find peace. You are enough and you have finally recognized that and you won't put up with anymore. That's a good thing. We are not meant to stay in a relationship that is abusive or breaks our heart. Now you can take the children and be free. I've been through that every bit of it and you're doing the right thing. You're stronger and braver than you think. The problem is not with you and the children. The problem is that he doesn't recognize what he has, nor values it. He sounds narcissistic. No one needs to stay and be abused. Get out and never look back and never let him find you again. This is what will be best for the children. You definitely do deserve better and you will have it. I was in your place once and I left with the children and had no money but about 20 bucks to my name and I made it. So can you. You can do this and I'm very proud of you for standing up for yourself and the children. I will be praying for you. You will be fine. What seems like defeat, is not. It's the beginning of a brand new life away from the abuse.🌹🙏🙏🙏🫂🫂🫂

Homeorsomewherelikeit · 41-45, F

@LadyGrace Thank you for your reply. It was difficult to even post this anonymously, as it does feel like giving up, and that is something I swore I’d never do. I’ve given all I have in me.

LadyGrace ·

@Homeorsomewherelikeit
I want you to see that you had to get to that point before you would say enough is enough and I will not take anymore! That's a very brave thing to do. This is what it takes to do what needs to be done and suicide is never the answer. I'm not saying you're thinking about it but if you are that is never the answer and it doesn't need to be. There's other better alternatives. We don't have to kill ourselves in order to get what we want. This is God actually telling you life is not working for you and so you need to make these changes right now and that does not include nor mean suicide. You kept procrastinating but God is showing you very clearly that it's time for you to get out of your misery and abuse and to take those children with you. It can all be done. I know. I have done it.

Homeorsomewherelikeit · 41-45, F

@LadyGrace I will take your kind offer to message you privately more on the matter, but I want everyone who sees my post to read this. I would never take my own life, and I implore others to never take their own either. I lost someone close to me recently who took their own life, and I have seen and felt the suffering it left behind. You may think no one cares, but someone always does. It may be someone you don’t even know, but your loss will be felt in the deepest, most tragic way. It might be someone you pass on the street every day, someone you work with, someone from school. Your loss will be felt. This world is full of pain and misery, but there is also love and hope and kindness. You are never alone, not really.

LadyGrace ·

@Homeorsomewherelikeit I am so happy and relieved to hear that. You have good common sense. I look forward to helping you get through this.