does anyone else feel like they never should have existed?

like all you ever do is ruin anything you touch? like a walking catastrophe?

I'm sure there are lots of people like that, but not me. The only time I felt that way was when I was a very young child and overheard my mom talking about the day of my birth. Apparently there had been some complication and most babies that get it, die from it. Mom said that the doctor said "she shouldn't even have lived through that".

Until I got up the nerve to apologize for living, I didn't realize it was the doctor who said it, not my mom. Mom didn't even know I was listening. I was playing in the back yard, near the opened living room window and that's where she and her friend happened to be talking.

June 6/17
9:05 pm
EDT

Xeross · 31-35, M

@Serenitree: sorry that must have been rough. I've felt like my parents felt like their lives would have been better without me many times.

Serenitree · F

@Xeross: my parents tried for four years to have me. They lost three before me. Then the doctor said I shouldn't have lived through the delivery. They were actually very happy to have me. It took them six more years before they had my sister, and mom was never able to carry another to term after my sister.

June 6/17
9:18 pm
EDT

Xeross · 31-35, M

@Serenitree: that's one I can relate to, my mom was never able to have kids, I was born, she tried again and none made it

midnight02 · M

yup. so many times i make mistakes and now i have a reputation with my entire family and friends at school because i am so immature

Xeross · 31-35, M

@kithywithy: you're a teen,immaturity is what you all do. I know I was the exact same way. don't let em get to you.

ScarletShadowsxP · 31-35, F

Waves hand, me!

View 6 more replies »

Xeross · 31-35, M

my ex just left me for the fifth time a month ago. this time I'm sure she is never coming back. no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried to make our future together work out it was never enough. she told me she left me this time because I couldn't give her a child. she was pregnant with another mans child for the first four out of nine months and the rest I barely saw her at all because she was always busy. how could I under those circumstances?

ScarletShadowsxP · 31-35, F

@Xeross: Wow sorry to hear about that. But like other people say you'll bound to meet someone new you know. Me, I was never lucky when it comes to "Love" it's always messy for me or become one sided.

Xeross · 31-35, M

definitely know how that feels, usually the one who ends up hurt

SW-User

Nah...give yourself more time good things eventually happen

Xeross · 31-35, M

@JohnnyWhitebreadCorngood: I am 23, all I have ever done is make others lives a living hell

SW-User

@Xeross: has everyone told you that or is that just what you believe?

Xeross · 31-35, M

@JohnnyWhitebreadCorngood: it's what I know, from every interaction I have ever had. I have literally three friends and even their lives are hell when I'm around.

Xeross · 31-35, M

another prime example, I lost the keys to a new vehicle my mother just bought...how great is that.

SStarfish ·

hmm

DragonFruit · 61-69, M

@ZeroG: No you’re not really mulling that….stop it!

SStarfish ·

don't presume to know what others think @Dragon56: also you're not my
boss

mrmoose · 70-79, M

yep, me

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